Blog

Stuck. This is the state most of our clients find themselves in when reaching out to us for somatic nervous system therapy. Stuck in patterns of anxiety, shutdown, exhaustion, emotional reactivity… The list goes on.

As if it weren’t enough, on top of that, there’s often a sense of frustration, helplessness and sometimes even guilt or shame for not being able to change them.

If you are someone who has already tried different ways to regulate your nervous system on your own, this may be especially confusing.

Our most intimate relationships challenge us as no others do. When it’s hard to find a common language or mutual understanding, somatic couples therapy can offer support – not just through words.
In this interview, I speak with my colleague Arpitha Shankar about her approach to working with couples.

What does it mean to heal relationships – not just with others, but with yourself – through the body? In this conversation, my colleague Arpitha Shankar and I share our journeys into somatic therapy and relational healing, and reflect on how it shapes our current work with clients. We talk about the role of embodiment in working with attachment wounds and how body-based trauma therapy can offer safety and connection where words are just not enough.

Some of us are affected by what happened in our childhood more than others, regardless of whether we believe we experienced trauma or not. While we can understand and accept what happened to us and have a strong will to move on, it’s the body that often still experiences the past as if it’s happening in the present moment, while the autonomic nervous system still reacts habitually the way it learnt to when we were young.

Many of us who have experienced chronic dysregulation in our early life, enter adulthood not quite knowing the nature of this constant high arousal and dissociation, and not quite knowing what to do about it. When our capacity to self-regulate isn’t developed, we are left to rely on our coping strategies which can range from over-working and people-pleasing to addictions and self-harm.