It’s common to think of attachment in terms of attachment styles, such as anxious, avoidant, disorganised, or secure. But attachment encompasses much more than just the styles we recognise and talk about. It is reflected in how we relate to people around us, whether we can ask for and accept help, maintain boundaries, express our needs, or stay connected to others without losing ourselves.
Stuck. This is the state most of our clients find themselves in when reaching out to us. Stuck in patterns of anxiety, shutdown, exhaustion, emotional reactivity. As if it weren’t enough, on top of that, there’s often a sense of frustration, helplessness and sometimes even guilt or shame for not being able to change them. If you are someone who has already tried different ways to regulate your nervous system on your own, this may be especially confusing.
Our most intimate relationships challenge us as no others do. When it’s hard to find a common language or mutual understanding, somatic couples therapy can offer support – not just through words.
In this interview, I speak with my colleague Arpitha Shankar about her approach to working with couples.
What does it mean to heal relationships – not just with others, but with yourself – through the body? In this conversation, my colleague Arpitha Shankar and I share our journeys into somatic therapy and relational healing, and reflect on how it shapes our current work with clients. We talk about the role of embodiment in working with attachment wounds and how body-based trauma therapy can offer safety and connection where words are just not enough.